April 18, 2013 by Dragonfly Diva
Yesterday morning while catching up with friends on Facebook I came across a post of a video that seems to be making the rounds. Real Beauty Sketches shows a forensic artist making two sketches of the same woman – one from her own description of herself and one based upon the description given by another person after meeting and spending time with the woman. I watched the video and I’ll admit I cried. I love Dove’s marketing campaign! I, like a lot of women, I’m sure identified with the point of the video – we see ourselves very differently than others do. We can be negative, even mildly so, few of us see the true beauty we each posses. The way the women described themselves contrasted with the adjectives used by others was telling, but it was the looks on their faces when shown the two sketches side by side, that did me in. The amazement at the differences between the two pictures and the joy on the one woman’s face as she looked at the sketch which was based upon another person’s description, it was so genuine.
I’m guilty of not liking how I look and talking negative about myself, even if it’s just referencing the fact that I’m trying to be more healthy and lose weight. Its something that my husband just hates. Even when I was young and much thinner I didn’t like the way I looked. Where did I get that? I was never told that I was not pretty or beautiful, in fact those in my life told me the opposite. I was comfortable enough with how I looked when I was younger, taking dancing lessons and getting up on stage during recitals and stage plays; but, if someone had asked me I would have maybe said I was pretty, and then probably would have listed the things I wanted to change…just like I do now.
Why are we as women generally like this? This attitude, this self-critiquing perspective, is something that is handed down from generation to generation in a way, and what can we do to stop it? How do we reinforce the beauty in us all? How do we instill a sense of the diversity of beauty that each person’s life dance takes? Some dances are lean and others lush and curvy. Does that make one dance better, or prettier or more correct and desirable to others? In essence are we bullying ourselves when we focus on the parts we wish to change? And why must the outside be seen as the true measure of beauty. What about the inside? The personality, the emotions, the intellect? And the actions one takes during the dance?
As I write this though I am beginning to think the bigger problem is that as a species we have come to an evolutionary point – at least here in the US – where everything, and I mean EVERYTHING must be judged. That is the offending word – judged. Judged as good, bad, better, best, correct, incorrect, beautiful or ugly. And why? Why? WHY? Why must we judge one another. It’s all about positioning. I’m better than you, but less than someone else. Is that necessary? I, personally, think not. I think we are each carrying out our own path through life, dancing when we can and placing one foot in front of one another when we can’t to move forward, because lets face it time doesn’t stand still.
It is the JOURNEY and the picture that makes us beautiful, not our eyes, or our hair, our curves or our smile. We are beautiful from the inside out, so we need to stop caring how those that judge see us, and we need to start seeing in ourselves what others see in us, the beauty, the strength, the things that make us unique and valuable. That is where the real beauty in women lies.